Cam Show Hiatus

It's official. I have finally succumbed to the painfully obvious reality that trying to deal with my life as it stands (aka Disaster Central) is not conducive to keeping a regular cam show schedule. My weekly shows are going on temporary hiatus.

I know, I know...the recent cancellations have made this as obvious as Paris Hilton's natural talents. I keep hitting "Skip Show" instead of removing myself from the schedule completely, holding onto the thread of hope that surely (surely!) by *next* week things will have calmed down & I'll have a home base where I can set up my cam computer. Instead, tonight I'm going to be packing & moving stuff out of the way so that the reno guys can replace a window tomorrow morning & hopefully finish my front steps sometime this week. Last week was the back deck & the concrete all around my house in the "common areas" of the complex. It was a toss up, but I decided to go with opening my windows & suffering the probably toxic stench of whatever industrial sealant they were coating the concrete with instead of keeping 'em closed & turning Disaster Central into a summer sauna. It didn't cool things down much, but I did get a strong craving for nachos.

What I'm really craving is getting settled. I still don't know where I'm moving to & I was supposed to have my house already sold by now. I'm still weeks away from having it in any condition to be listed. The Crazy Stressed Out Bitch Alert System is currently set at magenta. This equates to:
> not sleeping
> feeling sick to my stomach every single day
> exacerbating the whole intestinal affair with mocha lattes since
> I can't stay alert long enough to, oh I don't know...prevent myself from driving off the road while hauling boxes up to my storage unit?


I feel like this guy:



Technically I have been taking crazy pills in the form of generic OTC "sleep aid", but they don't help. It still takes me several hours to fall asleep (4 a.m. was the earliest this week) & then I'm groggy for half the morning. Last night I decided to try resetting my clock completely & instead of aiming for sleep, I just stayed up reading until it was daylight & then moved to the couch to finish my book. So far, so good!

I hit the farmers market early this morning, but my perogy guy was already sold out. Blast! Apparently a flock of earlier birds will be enjoying a supper of cottage cheese & dill perogies hand-lovingly formed by an authentic Ukranian baba who holds the exclusive domain of the city's perogy market, yet refuses to increase her supply to cater to the demand of the market-goers who dally & don't line up at first light. This isn't communist Russia, for Petr's sake! Selling out of your best wares in the first 45 minutes each Sunday & then trying to hock your last 2 containers of borscht for the remaining 5 hours of market time is hardly going to help you fit in with the rest of the Johnny CapitalistSeed vendors. Verrückt!

My day improved markedly, however, once I hit the dog park. I felt like all the animals were coming to greet me like something out of a Disney movie. As we trotted along the winding trails through the now lush & overgrown forest, I saw a bunch of critters (a Blue Jay, squirrels etc.) & they all seemed to stop what they were doing & look at me. So I stopped & looked at them. The forest was actively campaigning for me to stop & smell the flowers. It's possible I was hallucinating from lack of sleep, but it was the first moment that I've felt calm in weeks. Of course my peaceful Sunday was shattered by the irritating phone messages waiting when I got back to remind me of the meetings I need to attend this week & the paperwork I need to have ready.

One day my prince will come. And he will be driving a U-Haul.