Don't F*ck with D1sn3y

Remember my last post about how lovely my D1sney day was going? Woodland creatures coming out of the...ummm...well not woodwork, but actual woods to greet me as I was walking my dogs? Let's just forget I said anything. Clearly, the iron Eisner fist is still ruling & the message is clear:

if you take naked pictures of yourself & post them on the internet, DO NOT fuck with D1sney!

Lest you think I'm paranoid & am gazing out at my monitor from beneath a tinfoil hat, let me tell you what happened after posting that sunshine-y blog entry. Around midnight I got the dogs leashed up & headed outside for their bedtime walk. I do this every day, usually twice a day. There is a large courtyard behind my house which my neighbors' yards & fences back onto. No traffic, a little footpath & perfect for brief, down to business dog walking.

We head out as usual & after just stepping onto the path both of my pooches take interest in something a few feet off the path near my neighbor's fence. They're not barking, but they darted towards this area with an intensity unlike their usual wander around & sniff routine. I can't quite see what it is but assume it's my neighbor's cat (the friendliest sweetest cat I've met to date) & so I yell at them to "get outta there! C'mon!"

Then I see something much bigger than my neighbor's cat. Squinting in the dark, I notice strange white vertical stripes. Two seconds later I realize it's not big, it just has its tail up because it's a motherfucking skunk & it's spraying me!

I run down the path (cursing) & loop back to the house. The dogs don't seem bothered at all, but I touch Kiero's back & she's got a very light oily coating. fuck fuck fuck.

I don't usually mind that skunk smell when you drive past in your car & catch a whiff. I remember having a Scratch & Sniff sticker of a skunk when I was a kid & quite liked it. But up close? That smell is wayyyyy different. I couldn't smell it on my body or my clothes, but I could taste it. If it got in my mouth, the rest of me must've been reeking!

I ran us all back inside & hopped in the shower. After a thorough shampooing, I hopped out, dried off the dogs & started to get ready for bed. But I couldn't get that horrible taste out of my mouth. I threw all of my clothes plus the towels in the washing machine. I searched on the internet for ways to get rid of skunk smell. I could still catch whiffs of it everywhere & my bedroom was especially bad since that's where I went first & took off my clothes. We had stunk up the whole house! I found some helpful advice (put out a big bowl of vinegar to soak up the smell), but realized that me & the dogs still stunk. I had to resort to the old wives' tale - tomato juice bath.



The dogs were NOT impressed. Two baths in one day? Yuck! But between the tomato juice & the vinegar, the house was much improved the next day. Still no idea where a skunk came from, but I got the point - no more D1sney references from this girl.